Divorce isn’t easy for couples. It’s jarring to undertake proceedings that are essentially the end of something that started out beautifully. But if you think it couldn’t get any harder, a Nassau County divorce lawyer might tell you that it is significantly harder when there are kids involved.
In addition, it’s more difficult when you’re that young kid facing the ultimate dissolution of that marriage. Here are the things that children need to undergo and experience when their parents decide to divorce:
They can’t divorce their parents
While the parents might have at least an end to look forward to at the end of the proceedings, the children have no such luck. As parents go their separate ways, their children are caught in the middle. If only the challenge as that they need to choose among their parents. Often times, it’s the judge—someone beyond themselves and their families—who determine which parent gets custody. This can be jarring for a young mind and needs to be taken into careful consideration.
They can blame themselves
For a child, the sudden separation of their parents and the reality of the permanence of the divorce can be very confusing. While the cause might be obviously one of the parents, it sometimes can be completely different from their children. In fact, studies have shown that if the cause for the divorce isn’t properly explained, kids tend to put some blame on themselves and beat themselves up internally. This can be very difficult to deal with if not mitigated immediately.
They can overcompensate
Every divorce can be messy as competent divorce lawyers might tell you, and this creates emptiness and gaps in a child’s life. For instance, the tough discipline from a father figure suddenly taken away will be highly noticeable. Kids might then subconsciously fill in that gap themselves. In this case, it can make them tougher on their sibling, taking over the disciplining chops from the missing father. This can cause tension and warping of the child’s personality.
They can act out
Even when they aren’t overcompensating, there’s still a risk that they’ll act out. Plenty of emotions come out when faced with a challenging experience like divorce, and these aren’t always easy for children to process. The result can be a tendency of the affected kids to lash out. The target of this can be their remaining parent, their peers, and others.
They can be neglected unduly
Even when they don’t act out, they still ultimately suffer quite a great deal. After all, the trauma of the separation will still affect the parents badly. For a time, they can inadvertently neglect their children as they pursue happiness or mitigation of their hurts.
Divorce proceedings might sometimes be necessary, but they’re certainly never easy. If you have a great lawyer by your side, not only can they make everything move more smoothly, they can also give advice that will help protect your kids. As much as possible, remember the kids even as your emotions are on a high—they’re far more affected than you can ever be.