Ending your union doesn’t have to be pure bitterness and complete torture. It’s possible for divorcing couples to part peacefully, but amicable divorce does not happen by accident. Both parties should recognize the importance of keeping the peace and avoid the things that can start a nasty battle. Here are some steps to a peaceful separation:
1. Stay out of the family court.
Some divorces will necessarily end up in court, but it will be best to settle yours without the antagonistic divorce proceedings. If you choose to litigate divorce, you’ll be forced to discuss the past in a confrontational and hostile battlefield. Before jumping straight to court proceedings, consider the other options that can help you come out better. You can both move forward peacefully by choosing a neutral third-party mediator to help you reach a fair consensus.
In Colorado Springs, divorce mediation gives your relationship a chance to remain civilized, lets you discuss things in private and usually creates a positive outcome. It allows you to have a respectful dialog and work together to resolve important issues like child and spousal support. With divorce mediation, you can negotiate in good faith and agree on what’s best for your kids.
2. Stop the blame game.
When a marriage fails, it’s tempting to blame each other and point every flaw in one’s character that caused the demise of the relationship. However, an amicable divorce is impossible if you continue to play the blame game. Both parties should accept that they have a contribution to the failure of their marriage.
For instance, your soon-to-be-ex might be a profligate spender, but had you offered your support, she could have learned how to budget. Stop finding fault and decide that divorce is the best option to improve everyone’s well-being.
3. Nurture mutual respect.
You will not likely achieve a peaceful split if you talk poorly about your partner in front of other people, especially your kids. You don’t need to be friends with each other, but you have to be friendly. Divorce can be traumatic for children, and the way you behave around each other will impact the intensity of their experience.
While many things can change when you end your marriage, your partner will remain a part of your children’s life. Thus, it is important to maintain a courteous relationship with your spouse to create a nurturing environment for your kids.
4. Don’t allow your emotions to catch you off-guard.
Cooperation and communication are essential to reach an amicable break-up. It can help both parties reach a coordinated decision with minimal conflict. However, when your emotions are running high, it’s likely to be challenging to remember important details. Write notes about the things you want to discuss with your spouse when you are calm.
Use your notes as your guide during the discussion. Following a script during your face-to-face communication can take out some of the negative emotions. If you feel that you’re not emotionally stable to handle in-person conversations, consider discussing some of the details through email.A peaceful divorce saves you from drawn-out court battles, and drained bank accounts. Instead of destroying your old relationship, focus your time and energy on rebuilding your life. While divorce can mean a great deal of pain, it can be the key to unlocking your incredible future.
